Business and Pleasure in the Pleasure Biz

Hands down, the coolest thing that's happened for me this year has been starting up the paddle biz. And it's not like the competition was slack… This has also been the most successful year for me artistically, with some pretty major and amazing projects, some high-ticket sales, and a ton of press. So, what makes the paddle biz stand out? The people I've gotten to know because of it.

I just got an email From Chris at Stockroom.com that reads, in part:

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for those kind words about us here.  We try and set ourselves apart in regards to customer service and just being plain old REAL, HONEST, and last but not least, NICE people.

It is an absolute pleasure doing business with you and I hope we can do much more in 2006!

I wrote back:

Heh. No problem. I really like to focus on the positive stuff, and you've made that really easy. I'm sure that as time goes by, I'll probably write more nice stuff about y'all.

You know what really impressed me? The fact that Stockroom has little bios on everyone with pictures even! Most places try to kind of hide their people away, even outside the adult biz. That kind of openness is awesome, because it says to me that everyone involved in the company believes in what they're doing enough to stand by it. That is freakin' cool.

Chris found me about a month before I was planning to go wholesale with the paddles. When he emailed, I jumped at the chance, of course, but I still had things to learn and production issues to iron out, etc. He's been really great about working with me to make that transition as smooth as possible and to work out any, um, kinks in the details.

And he's not the only one that's been helpful… It's pretty common for people to closely guard any possibly useful info as a trade secret, but when I've talked with other people making toys for the adult market, like Monica at Black Market Chicago, I've found that they were quite willing to share their knowledge and expertise about the business angle at least. I've talked to other toy stores who felt their clients weren't neccesarily hardcore enough to enjoy the paddles I'm making, but who were all very helpful in recommending other places I should try, and people I should talk to.

Then there are the people I've met through the blog itself: Sam Sugar, Tony Comstock, Ang at Sweltering Celt, Mistress Mim, and many others including those of you who read the blog and share your thoughts via comments or email (DM, Vixen, cgeye, and everyone else).

I'm sort of used to the idea that the people I work with are going to be pretty cool. After all, my day job is making art, so that tends to be a bit of a screening process right there. Seth Godin has a marketing strategy that goes "turn strangers into friends, and turn friends into customers." I play it a little bit differently… I like to turn strangers into customers, and then become friends with them. Because, if nothing else, I find that I usually have something in common with most people who like my work enough to buy it (or even just talk about it). And I find that some of my customers over the years have come to number among my closest friends, even if that first purchase that brought us together is the only one they ever make (although, to be honest here, most of them do buy more work as time goes by).

If I had to come up with a general description that fits most of the adult biz folks I've met so far, it would read like this:

• Passionate.
• Open-minded.
• Educated.
• Intelligent.
• Articulate.
• Funny and appreciative of humor.
• Sociable.
• Real
• Responsible and focused.
• Committed to kicking ass in what they do
• Enjoy life and it's pleasures
• Tolerant, patient and willing to bring newbies up to speed. ie: helpful.
• Self-assured and secure
• etc.

Does this list fit the stereotype of the adult biz that one might expect, based on the kind of propaganda that "justifies" the "war on porn" our current administration would like to launch? I'm sure there are assholes, just like any other business, but I haven't run into them yet. I guess the thing is, as I describe what I'm up to these days to friends outside the industry, I've come to realize that I keep listing these qualities which are the basis of what I look for in my crowd. I feel kind of like I've "found my people" and that makes me really happy. The area where I live is extremely remote and not exactly a radical hotbed or cultural Mecca, so a big part of what's been keeping me sane lately is contact by phone and email with people I can relate to.

I suppose, in a way, it would be easy for some of this trading of flattery to become a bit of a wank-fest, or a mutual admiration society. But then again, you know, I really believe in letting people know when you appreciate them (and when you don't). Business and social life both benefit from openness and being as kind as possible. Maybe that's why the adult biz seems go smoother than most— no one better understands the need for lube. But, really I think it's goes deeper than that… I think the community is by default made up of people who know how to think and know how to think for themselves. And that fuckin' rocks.

Comments

[Ang]

Aww, shucks.

I just thought your idea was rockin' and wanted to give one of your paddles a shot. Then I found out you're pretty rockin' yourself.

Here's hoping Ranger and I get to meet you someday soon and introduce you to all the wonderful people we know in the biz...

[Mim RedBeard]

you know I have a feeling you have really found a wonderful niche. I am still itching to get My hands on one of the paddles and give it a good test swing.
After perusing the other site you have, the art you are involved in is absolutely phat as well... I love the mosaics!!

[BadAss]

Ang: Don't blush, sweetie, you totally deserve mad props for all your help along the way.

Mim: Thanks for the kind words, re: the art... I'm really enjoying the way that one thing leads to another and allows me to do a bunch of diverse stuff. It's kind of cool being able to introduce the artwork to a new crowd through this site, too.

[Vixen]

Agreed. People in the industry tend to be unusual and independent. Just the type of people I like. In my experience even if I don't have much in common with another sex worker there's this connection between us because we do similar work.